Looking inward

Looking inward, finding oneself or becoming aware of the self who is separate from others souls and other objects.....

Anchoring on the self while interacting with the world......

Reducing the outward focus and redirecting the effort inward to remain centred within.....

Finally settling completely within.

How does one reach this  destination or attain this elusive goal?

What is the process? 

How can one do this efficiently without getting lost or demotivated on the way?

It is an art. The art of knowing the self and settling in this blissful knower state. It involves the following steps:

1. Firm realization and faith that my happiness lies within me. It cannot be achieved through any external means of any form. Neither physical body, food, clothing, physical or emotional intimacy, family, relatives, friends, wealth, achievements, designations, nor owning any material things. This will become clear when one deeply reflects on all past experiences and the sum total of all related life lessons. Contrary to our prevailing belief the purpose of all these myriad experiences is to make us understand the eternal truth that happiness is within the self. Realizing this truth leads to detachment. Of note here is that detachment occurs gradually in most cases. 

2. Clear understanding that my current state/mode is temporary, and it can be transformed. My true blissful nature is separate and can be attained. It is not impossible and there exists a process for the same. 

3. There exist others (Siddha) who have attained a blissful state. 

4. The soul is just experiencing the prevailing circumstances by getting overtly involved in them (oneness belief). In reality, prevailing circumstances, other souls and other objects are completely separate from me. They can neither cause an effect on me nor can I influence them in any way. Thus Bheda gyana is the most critical step after unwavering and consist faith in the souls true nature.

5. Current state/mode is an outcome of a habit/pattern. Belief that my current state is my permanent state --> Searching for happiness outside oneself--> getting involved in diverse experiences, believing in wrong theories/concepts/people under the  presumption they will impart lasting happiness --> Only to realize that they hardly provide any happiness at all. Rather they harm the soul in myriad ways and take it further away from its goal.--> going around in circles, eventually feeling completely lost. 

6. Detaching from everything and everyone else and redirecting interest within, taking meaningful and intense efforts at understanding the soul, it's true nature and then gradually and consistently taking efforts to remain within the soul. Over time this process takes place effortlessly. One realizes one's true nature and attains it permanently.

The lost art

We are bombarded with a lot of information every wakeful moment of our lives. Our mind rushes through the information (like a computer reads data) superficially without ever processing it resulting in a grave loss. Few of us take the time to pause, reflect, contemplate (map to current state of understanding/mental models, update both) and assimilate or incorporate (update existing mental models or form altogether new mental models)? 

Even if some of us do it, most importantly, How many of us are conscious and aware while facing the next challenge? Do we subsconsciosly repeat a  pattern/habit? Or do we consciously utilize the revised/new mental models, look at the presenting moment with a holistic and detached perspective, take genuine effort to overcome habit/patterns by trying newer and better ways of responding to the situation at hand?

Unconscious habits/patterns of thinking take away a major portion of our time in life. For those who have a glimpse of their own habit/pattern (loops of thinking/behaviour),  struggle to breakfree without being aware of the appropriate process to do so. Consequently both cases lead to deep disatisfaction, unhappiness, inability to connect with others and form meaningful relationships as well as, learn and apply new things.

Walking the path

We frequently feel lost, insecure unsure/uncertain, confused, not sure what we want, where we are going and how we will manage. We then tend to brood, think in unending loops on related topics. 

When we face a real world situation, we are plagued with what-if scenarios and resultant dilemmas like what path/option to choose, which path is best, will it will lead to what I really want, will I find what I have been searching for. 

Finally, after a decision is made, we tend to evaluate whether we took the right decision, what if the choice was wrong, what would be the unintended consequences, how to handle them? Moreover we are also concerned about the short term and long term outcomes, repercussions/consequences.

Whew! some much thinking....before, while making and after taking decisions.... so much unwanted anxiety, stress....and persistent, never ending noise.....

We focus on the past, the future and all possible potentialities/possibilities which may never actually happen. Paying precious attention to the minds unending game. Simply put we are looking at the wrong place for answers, we are paying attention to the resulting unending chatter and then getting stuck in the loop until it becomes a habit pattern. Once there we do not know how to wriggle out of the rabbit hole. It is easier to get sucked in but difficult to get out when you do not know the art of getting out.

Self-help Gurus, Friends, Relatives, Neighbours, Guides, Mentors share tips, guidance, and feedback. But actual implementation is a different ball game altogether. The nuances are to be discovered as you walk the path. 

Walking the path is different from knowing the path... you might encounter startling and unexpected experiences on the way. You might feel like being all alone in a dark tunnel, confused, lost, helpless, when you begin treading the path.....a roller coaster might be a better metaphor.

When you start out you feel you have a large support group but you soon realise that few remain to accompany you, and frequently, none that you can turn to.

No one tells you where to look and what to focus on. People will share ideas on how to equip yourself, how to prepare, how to handle yourself, how to keep the morale up. But the actual effort involved is completely different and frequently mind boggling.

To make matters worse, the outcome or experience at the end of the tunnel would be unexpected or may not meet your expectations. Bitterness, alienation, heartbreak, depression are common unintended consequences as you can seldom recover to the original state (one that existed before embarking on the journey). 

So ending the above seemingly unending, possibly unnerving explanation, here are some pragmatic pointers:

1. Be ready for dynamic and at times substantial changes to perceived outcomes.

2. Hang in there when the going becomes tough. 

3. Silence helps focus on seeing the unending thoughts, permutations and combinations of suggestions/possible paths of action.... Just see them rise.....dissolve and disappear when you do not act on them. (You will get the hang of this over time)

3. If you do end up acting/reacting to a thought that sounded so true and aligned with your state, embrace the resulting situation. 

4. Do not resist it and it's outcome. 

5. Apologize immediately if the situation demands. Make amends where needed. 

6. Take rest, step away if needed. 

7. Seek guidance before it becomes really complex and ends up in a mess.

8. Spiritual insights on the real nature of the world helps alleviate the pain.

9. Change your perspective to see the journey as a learning experience.

I know these are broad suggestions but self management will be unique to each person, his/her environment and the issue at hand.

Overcoming narratives

Kanjiswami in his landmark pravachan of 1950 said:

1. Determine where you are making an error

2. Know that it is transient and you can overcome it

3. A systematic logical method exists to attain your own divine self, and 

4. Arihantas and Siddhas who have attained their divine souls through this path have existed, currently exist and will exist in the future.

I am thankful to him and many others to help me understand the following error:

I am not the narrative unfolding in the mind. I am just watching it, though too immersed and engrossed most of the time that I get confused unable to discern the illusion from the reality. I end up believing in thoughts, constructs and mental models that are a far cry from reality. Next, under the influence of this misbelief I take action. Thus deluded, I end up getting lost in a web of my own unconscious doing.

The narrative (Vani~speech) is meant to auto correct and direct me on the right path when I have deviated from it. The body mind and this speech are instruments but they should not over power my souls will.

Deviated upyog, deviated drashti, Deluded thinking, deluded beliefs lead to bondage. Ruchi paltav, Ruchi anusari virya.

Redirect Ruchi (interest) Drishti ka vishay (object of interest) and Upyog (attention) inwards. This is the most important purusharth. 

For over thinkers, Listen to the sounds, watch your breath to first ground yourself. Listen to music, sing....anything that redirects your attention away from overthinking process. Detach from the active narratives, then direct attention to the right direction which is aligned with your values and your goals. Go with the flow. Do not get deviated by ishta and inishta. If at all a irrelevant thought arises just watch it, observe it. Do not get pulled into it, do not get attached to it, do not over dwell on it. Do not try to avoid it. Just watch and it will dissolve on its own. 

Remember Kanjiswani's teachings about the soul, and step back in appropriate flow. Strengthen the Drishti in right direction (inwards), remain within, with practice this process will  become simpler and easier. You will be able to get back on track easily with time. Gradually remain more and more in Swa samay. 

Samyak darshan will eventually follow. Do not hurry. Once there, then comes the real challenge - sanyam. 

Irony

It is an irony to see:

An immortal being worried about mortal wounds,

A being capable of multidimensional awareness struggling to discern it's own inherent nature while under the illusory influence of the world.

A being capable of attaining Omniscience living with limited intellect,

An eternally blissful being on a futile pursuit of momentary happiness.

I might have erred....

I might have erred by:

perceiving that following the heart was important than following the mind,

Being empathetic was better than being harsh and insensitive,

Being there and accomodative was better than being cold hearted and calculative,

Forgiving was better than the long route of retribution,

Preferring talent and experience over qualifications,

Preferring learning over following outdated, out of context and rote tradition,

Preferring my own freedom and respect of others over subjugation,

Preferring a mutual win-win over trying to win at the cost of others loss,

Preferring appropriateness over right and wrong,

Preferring goodwill over manipulation, 

Preferring mutual respect over superiority and inferiority,

Believing that being considerate is more important than blind heartlessness,

Believing compassion is more important than reasonless indifference,

Preferring living and learning over mindless surviving,

Believing in myself rather than blindly following others,

Believing that aligning with the self is more important than taking sides,

Believing in the sacredness of life over  mechanized regimens,

Some might label these as feelings and emotions, or deluded thinking,

They are free to do so,

I see it as a rich, experential, grounded lesson that helped me learn the truth from mass illusion.

I see a path unfolding for me,

As an observer and a knower, 

And just being blissfully present.