When we face a real world situation, we are plagued with what-if scenarios and resultant dilemmas like what path/option to choose, which path is best, will it will lead to what I really want, will I find what I have been searching for.
Finally, after a decision is made, we tend to evaluate whether we took the right decision, what if the choice was wrong, what would be the unintended consequences, how to handle them? Moreover we are also concerned about the short term and long term outcomes, repercussions/consequences.
Whew! some much thinking....before, while making and after taking decisions.... so much unwanted anxiety, stress....and persistent, never ending noise.....
We focus on the past, the future and all possible potentialities/possibilities which may never actually happen. Paying precious attention to the minds unending game. Simply put we are looking at the wrong place for answers, we are paying attention to the resulting unending chatter and then getting stuck in the loop until it becomes a habit pattern. Once there we do not know how to wriggle out of the rabbit hole. It is easier to get sucked in but difficult to get out when you do not know the art of getting out.
Self-help Gurus, Friends, Relatives, Neighbours, Guides, Mentors share tips, guidance, and feedback. But actual implementation is a different ball game altogether. The nuances are to be discovered as you walk the path.
Walking the path is different from knowing the path... you might encounter startling and unexpected experiences on the way. You might feel like being all alone in a dark tunnel, confused, lost, helpless, when you begin treading the path.....a roller coaster might be a better metaphor.
When you start out you feel you have a large support group but you soon realise that few remain to accompany you, and frequently, none that you can turn to.
No one tells you where to look and what to focus on. People will share ideas on how to equip yourself, how to prepare, how to handle yourself, how to keep the morale up. But the actual effort involved is completely different and frequently mind boggling.
To make matters worse, the outcome or experience at the end of the tunnel would be unexpected or may not meet your expectations. Bitterness, alienation, heartbreak, depression are common unintended consequences as you can seldom recover to the original state (one that existed before embarking on the journey).
So ending the above seemingly unending, possibly unnerving explanation, here are some pragmatic pointers:
1. Be ready for dynamic and at times substantial changes to perceived outcomes.
2. Hang in there when the going becomes tough.
3. Silence helps focus on seeing the unending thoughts, permutations and combinations of suggestions/possible paths of action.... Just see them rise.....dissolve and disappear when you do not act on them. (You will get the hang of this over time)
3. If you do end up acting/reacting to a thought that sounded so true and aligned with your state, embrace the resulting situation.
4. Do not resist it and it's outcome.
5. Apologize immediately if the situation demands. Make amends where needed.
6. Take rest, step away if needed.
7. Seek guidance before it becomes really complex and ends up in a mess.
8. Spiritual insights on the real nature of the world helps alleviate the pain.
9. Change your perspective to see the journey as a learning experience.
I know these are broad suggestions but self management will be unique to each person, his/her environment and the issue at hand.
